Surrendered and Free

By Jesús S., Inmate

When I signed up for the seminar Bondage to Freedom, I had no idea what I was about to experience. I thought Chaplain Matt wanted me to observe and listen. It went way beyond that. I realized a basic assumption I made when I became a Christian was incorrect. I thought my past was on Jesus’ shoulders, never to worry me again. I did not realize how many things from my past still shaped my life.

During the last day of the seminar, I listened as other prisoners gave their testimonies. They put it all out there and prayed earnestly for God to heal them. Hiding in a corner, I determined not to share my story. God had another plan and used Chaplain Matt to ask me to share. I made my way to the front while developing a plan to share as few details as possible. All I needed to do was get through my story and sit back down. As soon as I started sharing, I lost control and my story poured out. I laid bare vivid details I had planned on skipping a few moments earlier.

I finished my story, and Chaplain Matt asked if I wanted to kneel in surrender to Jesus. In over eighteen years of living in prison, I never once knelt for anyone or anything. This time, I was ready. I dropped to my knees, and Chaplain Matt led me in prayer. I fought. I fought so hard not to cry. Before I knew what happened I was on my hands and knees weeping streams of tears. I felt like God took me in his hand at that moment and all my worries vanished. I was safe. I was loved.
I fell to my face and surrendered with all my heart, mind, body, and soul. I asked and begged forgiveness for what I had locked away within me. The feeling of God’s presence spread over me even more. Never had I felt such a wonderful, powerful, and loving presence. As I sit and write this, I know with 100% certainty that God is real. When He moves, He moves in ways you never thought possible.

On that day, January 12, 2020, I realized how much God loves me. Now my prayer is, “God, point the direction and I will go no matter where it leads me. You are my king, and I am your humble servant.” All my praise, glory, and love go to Him for everything I accomplished through His will.

Thank you for making it possible for me to experience Bondage to Freedom.