Why Did God Let Him Die?

By Krista Burkholder – Social Worker

It was Monday, the start of the week of Camp ARK girls’ camp! The afternoon brought twenty-six girls and twelve counselors, including fourteen returning campers from the previous year. Energy and excitement were high!

There were happy greetings between the staff and the girls who remembered each other from last year. Several returning girls asked questions about how this year’s activities would compare to last year’s. Each girl who arrived was affected by the incarceration of a parent or family member. 

Hannah was a thirteen-year-old returning camper, and we invited her back to camp this year to be a support camper. Her “job” was to be a role model camper and help in one of the younger cabins. Her counselors reported that Hannah did an excellent job of caring for and supporting the younger campers in their room. However, as the week progressed, Hannah also needed care. 

Throughout the week, camp pastor Donovan shared his story with the girls. His father, Steve, spent most of Donovan’s childhood and teenage years in prison. He shared about the heartbreaking years of wanting a dad to be present in his life and missing out on a relationship with him. Donovan pointed to the Heavenly Father who loved and cared for him in those times, even when he did not realize it.

On Thursday night, Steve joined Donovan, and together they shared more of their years apart, coming to know Jesus and their reconciliation. As Steve shared his story, the room fell silent. As the girls heard Steve’s words and watched tears roll down Donovan’s face, their own hearts deeply felt the reality of their own stories. For Hannah, it was a breaking moment. She left the room in tears. 

With support staff surrounding her, Hannah sobbed, and then she whispered, “Why did God let him [her father] die?” She went on, “The last time I saw him was in the getaway car, and I was two years old.”

Hannah went on to share bits of her story – parents who were involved in criminal activities and then incarcerated, bouncing between the homes of her grandmother and aunt, a father who did not acknowledge her, her dad passing away when she was eight years old, and a mother who was in and out of prison. Hannah’s heartache ran deep with unanswered questions, and a longing to know that she belongs.

It was hard to let the unanswered questions remain unanswered, and yet we knew that the questions Hannah was asking could only be answered in knowing Jesus. We reminded Hannah that God loves her, has a plan and purpose for her, and that she is not a mistake. We prayed with her and encouraged her to talk to Pastor Donovan. Hannah was not ready, and we knew that loving her right in that moment was watering seeds that had already been planted.  

As the week came to a close, Hannah’s story reminded me again why Camp ARK matters. The boys and girls who attend carry stories marked by loss, uncertainty, and questions that do not always have easy answers. But they also carry joy, purpose, and a longing to be known and loved. 

The goal of Camp ARK is for it to be the best week of the camper’s summer. And beyond that, we are praying and believing that the Gospel will take root in their hearts, and the truth of the Gospel will transform lives for generations to come.